You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I want to fling myself into the sun
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
