We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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