I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
