I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
