Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
