Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
