thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
