So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
