that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And then my night got REAL pukey
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
