Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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