her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
