i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
