She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
