somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
