I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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