I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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