I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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