I wish I could teleport
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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