I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ugly people sure do ruin things
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I checked into jail on foursquare
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
