Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
