Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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