Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
