The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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