is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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