just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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