Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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