..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
