So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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