at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
