dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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