All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
