I just saw a hot homeless man
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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