Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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