i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
