I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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