Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
