i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
