Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
