I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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