Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
