It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
