There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
foreskin is a definite game changer
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
How does it feel to date your dad?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
