before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
