So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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