I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
