Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
