did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You ruined the universe
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
