yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
