I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My bed smells like the plague
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
