I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
someone threw a dead crab at me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
