Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
